Realesing Stored Anger in Childhood & Connecting with your Higher Self or Healthy Adult Meditation
(ABAJO ESPAÑOL)
I want to share with you two things:
A session I did with a client for her to release her stored anger.
A meditation to connect with your Higher Self or Healthy Adult with music by Ferpal, a musician from the community I live in.
How anger builds up in childhood
One of the energies that children growing up in a repressive and/or abusive environment store is anger. When the child her/himself or a family member is the object of injustice or abuse of any kind, their natural reaction will be to feel anger amongst other emotions like fear, helplessness, hatred, etc.
Children have an innate sense of what is right or wrong. Situations that repeat such as unfulfilled promises, comparisons with other kids, rejection, false accusations, physical or emotional abuse, create deep anger in the child and the need to express it. Parents tend to cut off this impulse in violent ways at times, shaming the child and teaching them that expressing anger is inappropriate.
Anger, like all unexpressed emotions, stays and accumulates. When adults cannot hold space for their children to express this in a safe way, the child might find unhealthy ways to express it like taking revenge upon younger or weaker children, cruelty against animals, others, self-hate, etc. with the detrimental consequences that this may have for them.
What happens to the adults who could not express the anger they felt in childhood in a healthy way?
When these children grow up, they become adults who (over)react from their wounded child energy to situations that remind them of the earlier abuse. They will typically replicate the behavior they had when they were young or the behavior of one of their parents: being passive, abusive, condemning, raging, scared, complaining, numb, manipulating, prone to accidents, depressed, etc. Taken to extremes it can manifest as physical illness.
My unexpressed anger manifested itself as depression and esophagitis in my teens. Depression and digestion related problems continued until my late 30s when I finally found out how angry my inner child was and allowed her and myself to feel the rage we both had been carrying and to express it fully.
Releasing Stored Anger in a healthy and safe way in 5 Steps
Not long ago, a client came to see me because she frequently dreamed that she had discussions and fights with family members. She firmly believed that anger has very low energy and refused to feel it. I explained to her that anger was still in her whether she ignored it or not and that it won't dissolve unless she felt it, so I suggested creating a safe space for her to let it go. She agreed. That is what we did in the session:
1. I guided her to connect with the grounded and wise loving energy of her Higher Self or Healthy Adult through a meditation (similar to the one you will find here) so that this wounded and angry (younger) part of her, felt listened to, supported and witnessed.
2. She validated her emotions recognizing that there were reasons for her to be upset and angry.
3. I assured her that no matter how strong these emotions might manifest, she could bear them and be safe. *If you are an untreated victim of intense psychological or physical abuse, look for professional support to go through this process.
4. She felt and expressed her anger using her voice, yelling, hitting pillows, crying and moving her body and dancing.
5. She finished by connecting with her strength and worth through movement, affirmations and dance.
Other ways to express anger safely are writing angry letters (and not sending them), journaling, painting expressively, throwing stones in an open space, screaming inside a car.
I was pleased to hear months later that she had not had any more dreams with angry interactions between her and her family.
Connecting with your Higher Self or Healthy Adult Meditation
Hoy quiero compartir contigo dos cosas:
• Una sesión que hice con una clienta para que ella libere su rabia almacenada.
• Una meditación que te guia a conectarte con tu Ser Superior o Adult@ San@ con música compuesta por Ferpal, un hermano músico de esta comunidad.
¿Cómo acumulamos rabia en la infancia?
Una de las energías que los niños que crecen en un ambiente represor y abusivo guardan es la rabia. La rabia es una emoción que en ambientes como estos, l@s niñ@s no se sienten seguros de expresar. Cuando l@s niñ@s o algún miembro de la familia es objeto de injusticia o de abuso de cualquier tipo, la reacción natural será sentir rabia, enojo, soledad, impotencia y hasta odio. L@s niñ@s tienen un sentido innato de lo que es justo, de lo que está bien o está mal. Situaciones que se repiten dentro del ambiente familiar como promesas incumplidas, comparaciones con otros hermanos, rechazo, acusaciones falsas, abusos físicos o emocionales, crean en l@s niñ@s profunda rabia y la necesidad de expresarla. Los padres tienden a cortar de raíz este impulso con violencia a veces, avergonzándolos o incluso haciendo burla de ellos.
La rabia como toda emoción no expresada, se queda y se acumula. Esta emoción buscará una salida: desquitarse con objetos, animales u otros niños; mostrando un comportamiento inadecuado en la escuela por ejemplo o aplicándola contra ellos mismos: sintiéndose mal@s, egoístas, culpables, siendo proclive a accidentes, etc.
¿Qué pasa con los adultos que no pudieron expresar su rabia sanamente?
Cuando estas personas crecen, se vuelven adultos que responden desde el/la niñ@ herid@ con violencia a situaciones con frecuencia triviales; se muestran abusivos, irritables, negativos, rabiosos, quejumbrosos o deprimidos. Mi forma de expresar esta rabia fue deprimiéndome y sintiéndome inadecuada. Cuando se ha acumulado rabia en el pasado, sólo necesitamos de un motivo, a veces mínimo para sacarla y de la forma menos apropiada. Otras veces se manifiesta en forma física en forma de enfermedad.
Les comparto qué hicimos en la sesión cuando una clienta mía, que reconocía que guardaba mucha rabia contra su familia, se negaba a expresarla porque pensaba que la rabia tenia una energía muy baja. Esta resistencia a sentirla, no impedía que su subconsciente se la mostrara a través de sus sueños. Ella soñaba con frecuencia que se peleaba con miembros de su familia. Esto fue lo que hicimos:
- Validar la emoción. Aceptar que había razones para estar molesta y sentir rabia.
- Conectar con su Ser Superior o Adulta Sana a través de la meditación (similar a las que les comparto aquí.) e imaginarla presente durante todo el proceso de expresar la rabia en actitud de testigo y sostén de esa parte (joven) que había acumulado la rabia.
- Confiar en que no importando cuán fuerte fuera esta emoción, ella estaría segura y apoyada por mi y su Ser Superior o Adulta Sana.
- Expresar con la voz, golpeando almohadas y mediante la danza lo que sentía.
- Conectar con su fuerza y su valía a través de movimiento, afirmaciones y danza.
Me dio mucha alegría saber que después de esa sesión, mi clienta no ha vuelto a soñar que disputa con su familia.
